Exeunt

Today was our last day in Barnard. Oddly, we got a lot more done today than the last few combined. We cleared out all of the Conference Services emergency contact info signs from all the dorms, moved all the concert sound equipment from one room in Wilder to another, and got some important sitting/loafing done. At least 30% of my paycheck for this week will be hours spent playing baseball with a wiffle bat and tennis ball, playing on isketch.org, and text twist tournaments.

I had my exit interview with Molly, which went quite well. A number of people don't like Molly, but their dislike reminds me of high school. At Fordson, a teacher that actually challenged students and had reasonably high expectations of their students was usually pegged with one word: "Mean". Molly has reasonable expectations, such as maybe you should show up to work for a majority of days during the work week instead of calling in sick whenever you feel like it. She also wants to revamp the wage system so that those with a strong work ethic will actually get rewarded financially instead of with the added responsibility of supervising the slack-asses when they are sent to delinen South or something equally unpleasant. The interview ended with her asking if I wanted to return next summer (not as a manager, but as a CA). I said I was interested. We'll see what happens with that.

At the end of the shift today, a bunch of us in the office were flipping through a Cosmo we found in the resource room. Eventually the conversation got around to discussing our own varying sexual experiences and the asexual/hypersexual spectrum on this campus. This area is something that I simultaneously want to discuss with others in a mature forum while I wish that I could crawl into a hole and die of embarassment because of my resume. Judgment was not passed on what anyone said, but I couldn't fight off the feelings of inadequacy. Oddly, this is the same way I feel whenever anyone discusses international travel or their supportive families. I become noticibly silent and I look for any avenue to change the topic of conversation or escape completely. Even as I type this I'm getting the feelings of anxiety that occasionally hit me during the school year: where the inside of my skin is trying to escape as the outside seizes up.

Not cute. Not at all.

Addendum: I just got the most interesting business proposition that may have made my life infinitely easier. More on that later.